Our monthly Lunch and Learns are informal, one-hour sessions designed for team leaders and managers who want practical ideas they can apply straight away. Held on the last Tuesday of each month, they bring together people from different organisations to share challenges, compare approaches and learn from each other’s experiences in a relaxed, open conversation.
This month our Lunch and Learn focused on one of the most common leadership challenges: moving from colleague to manager.
When managers are promoted to lead former peers, existing friendships and informal relationships can create new challenges around accountability, fairness and team dynamics. Through discussion and practical scenarios, participants explored how to navigate this transition confidently, while maintaining positive working relationships.
TThe session began with a scenario many participants recognised: being promoted into a management role where a close workplace friend now reports to you.
A key theme emerged quickly. While friendships can remain important, leadership responsibilities require a shift in mindset. Good managers recognise that expectations have changed and take steps to establish clarity from the outset
One of the most common pitfalls discussed was delaying conversations because they feel uncomfortable.
Participants reflected on how concerns about damaging a friendship can lead managers to postpone conversations about performance, behaviour or accountability. However, avoiding issues often allows them to grow, affecting both team performance and team morale.
The discussion reinforced the importance of addressing concerns early, fairly, and consistently.
Another key topic was perceived favouritism.
Even when managers believe they are treating everyone equally, informal conversations, different standards or additional opportunities can create the appearance of unfairness. Participants stressed that team trust depends not only on being fair, but on being seen to be fair.
Transparency, consistency and clear decision-making were identified as essential leadership behaviours. This helped create a clearer distinction between support and decision-making.
The group explored the importance of establishing clear professional boundaries.
This includes being mindful of confidential information, separating management discussions from social conversations and recognising that old habits may no longer be appropriate in a leadership role.
Rather than damaging relationships, clear boundaries help create trust, credibility and clarity for everyone involved.
Participants agreed that inconsistency can quickly undermine confidence in a manager.
Whether it is overlooking poor timekeeping, relaxing deadlines or making exceptions for certain individuals, inconsistent treatment can affect perceptions of fairness across the team.
A simple question was shared as a useful guide:
“Would I make the same decision for every member of the team?”
The session highlighted that successful leadership is not about choosing between being a manager or being a friend. It is about balancing relationships with responsibility.
Practical actions discussed included:
Ultimately, leading former peers successfully comes down to fairness, consistency and having the confidence to hold the conversations that leadership requires.
Our free monthly sessions are open to anyone interested in developing their leadership and management skills. Keep an eye on our upcoming CforLP events calendar for more practical discussions and opportunities to learn from fellow managers and team leaders.
Our next Lunch and Learn event is:
Leading when you are not the expert
Online
Tuesday 29 September • 12.30pm to 1.30pm
